Love in the Time of Corona

I was working behind the counter at Baskin Robbins last weekend when an older man and his wife struck up a conversation with me and my coworker. “This is the event you guys will remember forever,” the man tells me, and his wife nods. She clarifies his sentiment—every generation has some formative event, and they believe that this pandemic will be ours. It’s an event shared in communal memory, occurring at a crucial time in the generation’s development. For the generation before mine, the man says, it was 9/11. For him, it was Vietnam. I’m interested in this idea.

The COVID-19 pandemic has certainly come at a crucial time in my life. It’s a familiar story to college seniors throughout America, even throughout the world: only two months left until graduation, until all of our hard work in the last four years (or you might even argue in our whole lives of pursuing our educations) comes to fruition. Only two months left of college, of living in this place, our second home, with these people that have become our second family. And then suddenly those two months dissolve into thin air, and it’s over long before we were ready to say goodbye. It’s all of the lasts that we won’t get to have and all of the lasts that we didn’t know were lasts that stick with me.

When I went to my Early Modern Women Writers class on the Friday before spring break, now two weeks ago, I didn’t realize that would be the last undergraduate class I would ever attend. Early that same morning when I got into a boat at practice with my teammates, I didn’t know that it would be my last time rowing for William & Mary. There are probably some people that I’ve seen for the last time but didn’t know to say goodbye. And then there are the things that I won’t get to do that I’ve looked forward to for years. I won’t get to toast my freshman dorm room with my hallmates at the end of the semester. Although my school hasn’t made an official decision yet, it’s looking unlikely that I’ll get to walk with my fellow seniors in the Class of 2020 for our graduation in May.

In the grand scheme of things, maybe this feels small. There’s a virus spreading across the world that we don’t have a vaccine for yet, and people are dying. We’re being asked to socially isolate or even fully quarantine ourselves. The news appears to be changing rapidly, and it’s confusing—I don’t always know exactly what’s going on. We’re experiencing a global event unfolding on a huge scale. But I just want to remind anyone out there who needs to hear it that this doesn’t negate our own individual problems. Everyone is making sacrifices right now in their own ways, and it’s perfectly fine to recognize those struggles and feel frustrated or confused or angry or sad, even though your problems and sacrifices may not be the biggest or the most dire or on the scale of life and death.

I was talking with a friend about this very subject the other day in relation to our senior year being cut short. We both felt shocked and sad and robbed of those experiences—and at the same time, we felt almost guilty for being so upset about it. But guess what? We’re allowed to be upset! And you’re allowed to be upset about whatever disruptions and inconveniences and frustrations the pandemic is throwing your way right now. All problems, all the time, are relative. We can recognize and release our emotions without forgetting the scale of others’ issues. Remember that your problems don’t require global implications to be important.

So that’s kind of my first point: yes, there may be struggles on a larger scale right now, but that doesn’t invalidate your sacrifices or emotions. Yes, this is crazy. But also yes, this too shall pass. Which leads me to my second point: it’s amazing that we get to ride this out together [not physically, though. Please stay six feet away from me!]. Even though there are profound and unprecedented physical boundaries to grapple with right now, I have been so touched and impressed by the virtual togetherness that I see my friends and family exhibiting in the face of this crisis. I think we’re very lucky to be living in the digital age and have the technology that allows us to maintain close interpersonal connections despite physical distance.

Personally, I have been on social media a lot lately. Flash back to two weeks ago, and I would have happily told you that I was on Instagram way too much and definitely should put down my phone [probably without any intention of doing it]. Now, I feel incredibly grateful for the ways I can stay connected through my devices and social platforms. Unable to see the many, many peers I interacted with on a daily basis on my college campus, I follow people’s days through their Instagram and Snapchat stories. Some catalog their fitness, some catalog their cooking, others specifically addresses issues related to coronavirus. All of this content, regardless of its subject, makes me feel like I’m still part of the social world that I lived in up until last week, to some extent. It makes me feel calmer, like we’re all in this together, all keeping tabs on one another and checking up on each other. All sharing our lives with each other. I may not be able to hug my friends or meet them for lunch or get coffee with them after class, but I can respond to their posts on social media and reach out to them online. I can still show them that I’m interested in their days and I want to know how they’re doing.

I have recently jumped on the Instagram stories train on my @quinnruns account associated with this blog. When I found such comfort in watching other people’s stories, I wanted to put mine out there as well on the chance that it could have a similar effect. So I’ve been doing that—I’ve been cataloguing my no makeup challenge for myself during isolation, posting about my workouts and walks as I try to get outdoor time every day, filming myself doing pushups as part of an Instagram challenge, and making the skincare vlog nobody asked for [but really everyone definitely needed to see]. It’s not groundbreaking material by any means. But it’s the kind of content that I’ve enjoyed watching, that helps me feel connected to my friends. So I’m putting myself out there as well, and if it benefits even one person, then it’s totally worth it. And actually, since it’s combatting my quarantine boredom, my active social media presence is benefitting me, and that’s enough!

All this to say, I’m so deeply thankful right now for all of my friends and family and the time we’ve been taking to connect, even if that has to be digitally for now. Social isolation can feel really lonely, but being able to tune in to my friends’ days through my phone has made that loneliness immensely less potent. When I say “Love in the Time of Corona,” this is what I mean: the outpouring of support and kindness that I’ve seen on social platforms throughout the past week. I was afraid that, upon leaving college, I’d lose the crucial support network that I’ve built from living within walking distance of my closest friends. College has ended sooner than expected, but that support network has not dissipated one bit. I’m touched and amazed by the ways we have all been there for each other during this chaotic time, and I’m extremely grateful for both the wonderful friends that I have and the technology that allows us to stay connected.

In that spirit, I want to ask all of you: how are you doing? Social isolation is definitely not easy, and I imagine some of us are struggling. I’m not entirely thriving myself—I’ll come back to this in another post though and I’ll tell you guys more about my day-to-day life of isolation and the projects I’ve been working on. For right now, I just wanted to say that I’m here for you guys! Seriously—anyone, anytime, just shoot me a text or an email or even a comment on this blog. I want to be someone you can reach out to when that social isolation loneliness hits, because I’m right in it with you, and it’s always better when we’re in it together!

Stay healthy and stay safe! More coming soon!