Hello Fitness, My Old Friend
Actually, fitness and I haven’t been friends for all that long. It was only about four years ago that I actually started exercising of my own accord—and by that I mean outside of sports practice [looking at you, lacrosse that I was unbelievably bad at from third through eighth grade]. Those are two pretty different things, a) choosing to exercise on your own and b) showing up to practice where a bunch of people are counting on you and your parents or coaches or friends will know and ask questions if you aren’t there. For me at least, getting up in the morning and working out by myself, without anyone waiting on me or giving me grief if I don’t show up, is a whole different ballgame.
In this current pandemic time, exercising has become difficult for me in another way. It’s been really challenging for me to find the motivation to work out when it feels like there are other hugely important issues going on right now [read: coronavirus], even if there’s nothing I personally can do about those issues. I’ve always preferred exercising in the morning—it starts my day on a positive note, and it feels good to knock out something big early on. But recently, mornings have been tough. I’m having a lot of anxiety and a difficult time sleeping, so I keep hitting snooze on my alarm, which I never used to do. Plus, the morning doesn’t exactly feel like the beginning of a new and exciting day anymore. It feels like the beginning of just another day of me being trapped in my room, still bogged down by school work but without the focus to perform well at it, still unable to spend time with all of my friends or finish out my senior year on campus.
I recognize this is kind of a bummer way to start off a blog post, but I want to talk about how I’ve been feeling during this time of social distancing because I’m sure many of us are in the same boat. For me at least, it’s always helpful to know that I’m not alone in my emotions. So to put it succinctly, I’m struggling a little bit in terms of fitness. It’s frustrating not having all the equipment I would normally use [elliptical and dumbbells, I’m missing you more than I ever thought I would]. Not being able to cross-train or do other forms of cardio makes me dread running lately because it doesn’t feel fun—it feels like I have to do it, because how else will I get my cardio in?
On top of that, I’ve been feeling anxious about my body changing. I recognize this fact: it’s okay for your body to change when your routine changes. And it is okay. It’s normal, it’s natural, it’s healthy, it’s perfectly fine. But that doesn’t eliminate my anxiety about it, which is simply something that I need to work on as a person—and trust me, I’m trying to! Still, I feel stressed about losing muscle tone and gaining weight generally since my routine has changed so much. I’m still exercising, but not to the intensity or extent that I was able to before social isolation, and additionally I’m not walking around campus or to and from class constantly throughout the day. My movement level has decreased a lot recently. I don’t mean this to sound tone deaf, by the way. I recognize that there are bigger problems out there in the world right now, much bigger ones in fact. But I want to reaffirm a sentiment from my last post: all problems are relative, all of the time. Just because your stresses don’t have global consequences doesn’t mean that they’re not valid or that they can’t be important to you.
Okay. Deep breath.
I began drafting this post last night and came back to it in the morning with fresh eyes. So, I’ve read the last few paragraphs, like you’ve presumably just done, immediately before typing this. And man, I need an attitude adjustment! I don’t want to get rid of the above paragraphs because I want anyone who is feeling a similar way to know that I’m right there with you. Your feelings and worries are valid and you’re definitely not the only one having them! However, I will say that while there are moments when I feel stressed and unhappy about my body or my fitness right now, there are also moments when I feel motivated and excited to do what movement I can and focus on maintaining a balanced diet. I love my body, and I want to care for it kindly—sometimes that kindness means going for a rainy run like I did today, sometimes it means taking a long walk outside with an ice cream cone, and sometimes it means eating Sun Chips in bed while watching Criminal Minds.
Kindness towards my own body and mind means allowing myself to feel sad and frustrated about the current situation. And it means working to find ways to raise my mood and tap into my motivation to work out and stay active while still recognizing those emotions. So I want to turn this post around a little now and talk about the ways that I’ve been trying to flip my mindset during social distancing. Let me know what you all have been doing or if any of these ways work for you!
Create a daily schedule: I’ve been making a schedule each night before I go to bed to plan the following day. I block out time for different activities: meals, exercise, academic time, and importantly also free time. Even if I don’t follow the schedule exactly, it helps me have an idea of what I want to accomplish during the day and how long each activity will take. Plus, it kind of imposes a structure on what can feel like a very unstructured time, which I know is important for me as a person and allows me to be much more productive and accountable for my time. Sticking to consistent times for waking up and going to sleep also really helps!
Be flexible with fitness: Social isolation during a global pandemic is a new and often stressful experience for all of us. This is not easy. And it’s a great time to allow for some flexibility in terms of your expectations for yourself. I’ve been trying to do this by listening more attentively to what my body wants each day, and giving myself more rest and relaxation time than I might normally need. For instance, I felt really burned out from running over the weekend, so I allowed myself to take some days off from running and instead enjoyed outdoor time and movement through long walks. Even if fitness options are more limited right now, there are definitely still options out there, and listening to what your body really wants or needs is a great way to be kind to yourself!
Exercise control where you can: On the flip side of the flexibility coin, asserting control in some areas your own life during this time where it can feel like you can’t control anything can also be extremely helpful. For me, I’ve used this strategy in my food shopping and eating habits. As I mentioned earlier, I felt nervous about my body changing during quarantine, but I realized that while I can’t control social distancing mandates or gym closures, I can control what I eat. So, instead of succumbing to the mentality that nothing really matters because I can’t get the workouts that I wanted, I decided to take control of my diet and make sure to include produce and protein in my meals so that I’m still eating a balanced diet. I think this strategy could apply to various areas of life, but for me this has been one really helpful way that I can feel like myself even when the world around me is drastically different lately.
Embrace your isolation cell: Even though we’re isolating right now, few of us are totally physically alone in that isolation. Most of us are lucky enough to get to isolate with either family or friends, and that means we do have people around. I’m in Williamsburg with a few friends—we’re only spending time with each other to responsibly practice social distancing, but we do have this group. We’ve been playing board games, eating together, and finding other ways to enjoy this time. If you’re with your family, I definitely get how that can be hard. But I think really the only thing we can do is make the best of the situation that we’re in right now. Take the time to catch up with family and friends, play games or watch movies or stay up and drink wine together, and find ways to make the most of the group that you do have at the moment!
Alright, enough with the ~tips and tricks~ for now. These are just some little things that have been helping me, and I’m sure there are many more tidbits of advice out there on the internet for your consumption. Basically I just want to say that I know this is hard. Overall, what’s working for me is recognizing those negative emotions—the anger, sadness, frustration, and confusion—but making an effort to shift to a more positive state of mind when I can.
Hope everyone is staying safe, healthy, and happy as can be!
